Angel on their shoulders
Woman gives disadvantaged young mothers the joy of baby showers
Janie Magruder
The Arizona Republic
May. 6, 2005 12:00 AM
Amid the aches and pains, swollen ankles and waddle that often appear in the last few weeks of pregnancy is a tradition that somehow makes the stretch marks and leaky bladder more bearable.
Family, friends or co-workers of the mom-to-be (and sometimes the expectant father, too) gather to rain gifts on the baby, play silly games and eat cake piped with pink or blue frosting flowers.
And when the baby shower ends, the pregnant woman hauls the tiny rattles, so-soft T-shirts and custom stroller home, sets up the nursery and waits for the blessed event.
But for many disadvantaged women, this party is just a dream. Their support network can't afford to spend the money, or there simply isn't such a network. For them, the stress of having little or nothing to clothe their babies in and no car seats to bring them home sets parenting off on the wrong foot.
Enter Mary Langlois, who two weeks before Mother's Day threw her third community baby shower for Valley women who need a little help and an afternoon to feel special. Held at the Chicanos Por La Causa office in south Phoenix, the event drew 189 pregnant women plus at least 200 small children, family members and friends, all waiting in a line that snaked through the parking lot because the facility was too small to let everyone in at once.
"This just emphasizes the need, doesn't it?" said Langlois, president of the Arizona Doulas Organization & Birth Education Association Inc. Initially inviting 50 women via various social service agencies, she refused to turn away anyone when word-of-mouth quadrupled attendance.
The first shower, held last July, drew three women. Among them was Maria Camargo, who, despite being pregnant with her third child, had never had a baby shower.
"It meant a lot because when I had my other two, I didn't have no one that supported me, no family to be here, and along comes Mary, and she's doing all this stuff," said the 18-year-old Phoenix resident. "She inspired me to move on with my life."
Camargo volunteered at the most recent shower, handing out raffle tickets and shepherding the guests from room to room. In one, they chose baskets with newborn sleepers, blankets, belly-casting kits, board books and small bottles of lotion. In another, they had five minutes to pick what they wanted from bins of used maternity and children's clothes and toys.
Most of the donations came from Kimber Rice, owner of Bears Repeating, a children's and maternity resale store in Glendale. Her contributions are a combination of items that haven't sold in her shop and goods that customers want her to give to a worthy cause.
"I didn't open the store to make a whole lot of money, and you don't," she said. "But it helps to know that I can help other people."
Rice also helped out at the shower, serving fried chicken, fresh fruit, chips and salsa and cake to the guests, including 14-year-old Angela Pablos, whose due date is in mid-July. The shy eighth-grader won a car seat, one of 30 donated by Chicanos Por La Causa for the raffle, and stayed close to Jenny David, her science teacher at Andalucia Middle School in Phoenix, who brought her to the shower.
"She's a young mom, and her family has a lot on their plate," David said. "This is an opportunity for her to get some stuff and maybe meet some other mothers and get some support."
Langlois' involvement in the women's lives doesn't begin and end with an afternoon of food and presents. She offers classes in childbirth, breastfeeding, baby care and parenting on a sliding fee scale that for many means free. Langlois also urges the new mothers to form their own support systems.
Stephanie Jackson, 24, made a friend at a shower last October. The two take their infant daughters to the park and share stories about diapers and life. Jackson won't soon forget her shower.
"It wasn't just about me, it was about all type of women coming together," the Phoenix mom of two said. "I was made to feel like it's a beautiful thing to be pregnant, to be bringing life into the world."
By early August, Stephanie Maroney will be bringing two boys into the world. Maroney, a student at Arizona State University West, works full time, and her boyfriend, Michael Sutton, an artist and coffeehouse manager, already feel the economic pinch of raising twins.
"Luckily I have several friends who just had boys, and we'll be getting stuff from them," said Maroney, 21, of Phoenix, who was given a basket with double the goodies.
Also at the shower was Angie Arrington, a 28-year-old Phoenix mother of two young girls. She and her husband, Chris, gave away their crib, baby clothes and equipment five years ago because they weren't planning to have more kids.
"This was a complete surprise," said Arrington, whose third child, also a girl, is due in August. She, too, won a raffle prize and chose a swing.
Langlois' generosity saved Vanessa Barros' life, the young mom said. Her second of three sons was conceived despite birth control, and the pregnancy plunged her into depression.
"She got me herbal drops for stress, and she called me to make sure I was OK," said Barros, 23, of Phoenix. "And when he was born, and I wasn't bonding with him, she said, 'It's OK for you not to hold your baby now.' She helped me realize that what I was feeling was not crazy."
Barros thinks Langlois' generosity is unmatched.
"There's not a lot of people that would do this for free, donate their time to make someone's life better," she said. "If anyone's an angel here, it's her."
Source: azcentral.com
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